


Ivy

by seo127



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Post-Break Up, Rating will change, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-06 02:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20283703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seo127/pseuds/seo127
Summary: The one where Jaehyun is a good friend to Johnny by helping him to get through his break-up.





	Ivy

**Author's Note:**

> ivy - frank ocean
> 
> enjoy!

Ever since Ten and Johnny broke up, him and Jaehyun do the same thing every Friday night: put on headbands and sheet masks, and choose an album to listen to while laying down on Jaehyun’s bed, which, according to Johnny, smells better than his, even though it’s literally six steps away from it.

“Birds In The Trap Sing McKnight” by Travis Scott is playing in the background, but neither of the two boys are too focused on it. Johnny hasn’t let go off his phone since the first time it vibrated, almost twenty minutes ago, and Jaehyun is distracted by Johnny, and by the muted Instagram stories of his friends he had opened five minutes after he realized it would take longer than he had thought to Johnny get back to the conversation they were having before.

“I need a blunt,” Johnny declares in the silence after some time, putting his phone on his chest and taking off the mask, Jaehyun does it too, because he doesn’t want to be the only one looking like a terrifying panda.

“Why?” he asks, throwing their masks in the trash can at the end of the bed, he has a smile on his face, because he knows Johnny too well and he knows the boy is almost always in need of a blunt.

Johnny sits on the bed and looks with serious eyes at Jaehyun, “it’s Ten.”

“I figured it.”

“We broke up two months ago, and still haven’t gotten back together,” he continues, crossing his legs, “I really thought it was a matter of weeks.” He pauses and sighs, taking off the stupid kitty headband, making his hair a mess. “You know us, right? How many times have we broken up just to make up again in a week or two? It’s not happening this time, though.”

Johnny’s right, Jaehyun, in fact, knows all about his and Ten’s dynamic, it is impossible not to, with Johnny being his best friend and roommate, he had seen and heard a lot of fights but also happy, overly cute moments. Months ago, when Johnny barged into their shared room with his ears red and tears marks on his cheeks saying him and Ten were over, Jaehyun expected it to be solved in little time, but as the weeks passed, it seemed more and more unlikely.

“Do you still love him?” Jaehyun whispers, eyeing his friend, who seems too occupied pouting and staring at his socks.

“Yes,” he says, letting out a breath. “I mean, me and him, I don’t know how to live my life without him, Jae, he’s my boyfriend, you know? I barely even remember how I was before starting to date him,” Johnny’s voice is choked up, “it’s not right, we not being together, it’s just not.”

Jaehyun nods, without knowing what to say to make it better, but he could understand what Johnny was saying. When he met him, Johnny was already dating Ten for more than a year, and, for a long time, Jaehyun couldn’t imagine both of them not being together. “Were you talking to him?” He points at Johnny’s phone, the boy picks it up, but doesn’t unlock or else.

After a few moments of silence, in which Jaehyun turns off the speaker while it was blasting “first take”, Johnny speaks again, “we have been talking, but it isn't about getting back together.” He raises his eyes to check Jaehyun’s reaction and looks relieved when he doesn’t find any judgment, “sometimes I feels like every time I talk to him it's the last one, I feel we growing more and more apart.”

Jaehyun waits for the boy to continue, Johnny looks thankful for that, like he wants to be heard more than the wants any advice. “Ten says I should try to date other people, just to see how I feel about it,” he frowns and Jaehyun is almost sure it’s unconscious, “but it feels just wrong, just thinking about it feels like cheating.”

“It wouldn’t be cheating, though.” He says, because he senses it's the right thing to do, for a second he imagines Ten nodding behind him, agreeing, “you broke up two months ago, Johnny, you don’t need to be over him, obviously that’s not going to happen anytime soon, but don’t you miss, I don’t know, kissing and dating?”

Johnny takes so long to answer, Jaehyun worries he said the wrong thing and it just increases when Johnny starts laughing. “I just never thought we would break up,” his body is shaking with laugher and Jaehyun is sure his expression forms a question mark. “I haven’t been in a first date in more than three years, I don’t even know where to begin!”

Jaehyun feels his ears heating up and can’t help but laugh too, “it’s okay, don’t worry,” he says between his and Johnny’s laughers, “I'll help you! Let’s start with a Tinder account!”

Before giving him the phone, Johnny’s eyes tear with laughter.

♡

“So,” Sicheng says after some time, and Jaehyun knows it’s not going to be good, because he has the mischievous smile that is always a warning, “you are helping Johnny get laid.”

Jaehyun doesn’t answer right away, he looks at Sicheng’s face trying to guess the answer he’s expecting, but doesn’t find anything, and Doyoung just blinks when he looks at him.

“I wouldn’t put it like that.” He says, carefully. None of his friends adds anything, so he continues, “I just made him a Tinder profile.”

“Why, though?” Doyoung asks, and he has a scowl on his face, like it's painful just to be in Jaehyun’s presence.

“What do you mean ‘why’?” Jaehyun questions, trying to understand his friend’s reaction. “I’m his best friend, and he’s trying to get over his ex, so I'm helping,” neither Doyoung or Sicheng look impressed, “it was Ten who told him to date other people!”

At that, both of them let out a laugh, Doyoung even rolls his eyes, but when he sees Jaehyun is not smiling he pauses. “Wait, you didn’t actually believed in that, right?” His eyes are almost round pointing at Jaehyun.

“What do you mean?” He can feel himself getting irritated, “Johnny told me himself Ten said that!”

There’s a pause, his two friends exchange looks before Doyoung starts talking again, but his voice is much more serious. “You don’t really think this break up is for real, do you?” He scoffs, “c’mon, Jae, they always do this, they break up for a while, pretend it’s all finished, but as soon as we grow accustomed to them not being together, someone walks on them jerking each other off in a bathroom.” (True story, Yuta shares his experience as much as he can.)

“Yeah,” he scratches his head, “but they broke up months ago, and they never said to try dating other people, never, they always kept rounding each other, it's not happening this time.”

“Because they’re dumb.” Sicheng says at the same time Doyoung continues, “even though, it’s probably just taking longer, god knows why, but it’s what they always do, and you and I know Johnny would be hurt if he saw Ten with someone else, Ten would be just the same,” the look Doyoung gives him sits heavy on his chest.

“Johnny thinks it’s really over.” For some reason, he feels like he’s trying to defend himself.

“Maybe it is,” Doyoung says, nodding his head, and Jaehyun can see that he doesn't think that's the case, “but we shouldn’t get in the middle of it, it’s not our place, especially when the past tells us they’ll get back together.”

“It’s complicated,” Sicheng adds, trying to fill the silence. Jaehyun can only agree, but he’s not sure he does.

♡

The talk with Sicheng and Doyoung doesn’t leave his head. It comes up in waves, sometimes weak, and other times almost aggressive, bringing also a feeling he can only name as guilt, because what if he’s helping to break apart soulmates? What if he’s helping his best friend make the mistake of his life?

The next friday night, the first one he and Johnny don’t stay at their place and listen to music since the breakup, Jaehyun can feel his ears burning from how fast he’s thinking. Johnny is on a date, and Jaehyun is trying to focus on the Harry Styles’ album playing on the background, but instead his brain is being invaded by images of Johnny revolting against him for being such a bad friend and giving such bad advice.

When Johnny enters on their bedroom, late at night, Jaehyun feels his heart freeze on his chest. “How was it?” He hopes his voice is not as shaky as he thinks it is.

“I thought you didn’t like this album,” Johnny says, ignoring his question and taking off his jacket, “didn’t you say it was too ‘daddy-ish rock’ for you?” He lies next to Jaehyun on his bed.

“It’s growing on me,” he answers, “Harry Styles is growing on me.” Johnny lets out a laugh.

When he realizes Johnny is not going to say anything else, he stretches himself to turn off his speakers and moves on the bed to lay next to his friend. Johnny’s big enough to occupy more than half of his sad twin mattress, so he lies on his side, taking his time to observe Johnny's profile, there’s a frown on his mouth and chin and his eyes are locked on the celling. “Are you okay?” That’s the right question.

“I don’t know.” There’s a bitter humor on his voice.

“What’s wrong? Exactly what’s wrong.”

Jaehyun’s hears his bed complain as Johnny rearranges his position to lie on his side and be face to face to him. “I think it’s even kind of funny,” he starts, with a smile, Jaehyun waits, “we spent the whole date talking about our exes.”

“What,” it’s not even a question, it’s an immediate reaction.

“Yeah,” Johnny continues, “I really think they are going to get back together, Jae, it’s obvious Taehyung still loves Jimin, he’s just scared, you know?” He’s just babbling at this point.

“Johnny.” He says, something about his tone makes Johnny shut up and look at him.

“Why are you doing this?” Jaehyun is worried, he doesn’t want Johnny doing anything he doesn’t want to, “if you are not ready to date again, you don’t have to, there isn’t a right way to deal with break ups,” he feels his chest getting tighter, so before he can think, he adds, “do you think you ten are going to get back together?”

Johnny detaches his eyes from Jaehyun’s as if he had been whipped.

The only sound in the room is Jaehyun’s heavy breathing before Johnny decides to talk again, “no,” he stares at Jaehyun’s eyes again, “the part of me that wants him back is the one who’s afraid to be alone, it’s not me, like, the real me.”

Jaehyun feels himself relax at that.

“Do you want to go on dates? Tinder dates? Or any kind of date, at all?” Je asks, because he wants to be sure he’s doing the best to support johnny.

He smiles before answering, “yes!” He runs his fingers through his hair, “it was a mess, and definitely a bad date, but I liked either way, it was fun, it felt like something new.”

“Did you enjoy yourself?” Jaehyun raises one eyebrow, not knowing what to expect.

“I did!” He’s smiling with his teeth, “because was not something serious, you know? Like, who cares it was bad? And that we talked about our exes for two hours? It’s just a funny gag we’ll tell our friends.” Jaehyun can do nothing but agree, “I don’t want, nor am ready, for anything serious, so I guess I can totally enjoy bad dates, it’s one of the perks of being dropped by the supposed love of your life after almost four years of relationship.” Johnny’s dry laugh may be honest.

Jaehyun doesn’t answer anything, because he doesn’t feel like he has too. he’s surprised when Johnny talks again, half expecting him to get up from his bed and change himself to his pajamas to sleep. “Why were you listening to Harry Styles, though? We both know you don’t like classic rock, much less its imitation.”

“‘Meet Me in the Hallway’ it’s actually a really good song.” He says, but sighs when Johnny doesn’t stop looking at him. “I was just worried you felt pressured by me to date,” the frown between Johnny’s eyebrows doesn't let him be quiet, “Doyoung and Sicheng said I shouldn’t get in the way of yours and Ten’s relationship.”

“You aren’t.” He says, Jaehyun is glad, his heart is calmer.

“Don’t listen to them,” Johnny’s eyes seem heavy on him, “you know me so much better than them, and if there’s anyone who can get in the way of anything in my life right now, it’s you.”

“I’m not going to, though.” He answers, smiling softly, “I just want you to be good. I know you’re going through hard times.”

“Thank you, Jae.” Johnny whispers, with a tiny smile on the corner of his mouth that makes him look like a kid, “I’m getting there.”

♡

Jaehyun guesses it’s funny how used one can get to change.

If, a few weeks ago, he had known his and Johnny’s friday nights would not happen anymore, because his friend would be busy going to bars, clubs and dates, he’d have said he’d be sad and upset, but that isn’t what happens.

In a way, it’s almost like before the breakup: Jaehyun stays home, catching up with his homework, or reading, listening to music and watching netflix, or he goes out with Sicheng and Doyoung, sometimes Taeyong, for drinks and cheap barbecue and then goes back to the apartment to sleep till late into the weekend.

Now, though, he’s waken up at the middle of the night by Johnny climbing on his bed after arriving home from his night out. Usually, Jaehyun is awaken just for enough time to recognize his friend before falling back to sleep, but, sometimes, he and Johnny talk, mostly Johnny, about his night and how it went, while Jaehyun listens with closed eyes and nods at the right times. The next day, Jaehyun always wakes up before Johnny, but he never remembers when the boy left his bed to change into his pajamas and lay on his own.

Jaehyun is feeling tired this week, that’s why when he’s awaken by johnny getting under his blankets, and, barely five seconds after, feels himself being pulled back to sleep, he thinks is going to be one of the usual nights, but then he hears Johnny whispering, “Jae, are you awake?”

He never asks that, he only talks to Jaehyun when he clearly can see he’s not asleep. Out of curiosity and strangeness, Jaehyun nods, with his eyes closed.

“I want to tell you something, but it can wait if you’re too tired.”

Jaehyun sighs and turns around to face Johnny, because who could go back to sleep after being told that? Even in the dark room, Jaehyun can feel Johnny’s stare on his face. “Just tell me.” His voice is low and rough with sleep, but he feels more awake.

“I went on a date.” Johnny says.

“I know that, Johnny, you told me earlier this week, you met her at the café outside campus, she bought you a chocolate croissant and you thought she was cute and-”

“I kissed her.” He interrupts Jaehyun, who, for the first time, feels the heat irradiating from his friend’s body, he assumes he must be blushing.

“Oh,” he doesn’t know what to say, or what kind of reaction his friend is waiting, so he just repeats what his gut is telling him. “How do you feel?”

“Good, I suppose,” Johnny responds, but he’s not looking at Jaehyun anymore, he’s staring a fixed spot at the opposite wall that has nothing in particular to be stared at with so much precision at two a.m. of a random friday night. “It’s the first person I kissed since ten. actually, she’s first girl I kissed since I was sixteen, I think.”

Jaehyun knows, because a lot of months ago, when they were both drunk and high at the backward of a party, Johnny told him he had always thought he was bisexual, but that he couldn’t see himself with a girl anymore, not even in threesomes, which Ten told him he would totally be down for, he blurted out, he could only see himself with Ten, and men, specifically, he guesses.

He also knows johnny hadn’t kissed anyone since ten, because he had never said he did, and Jaehyun knows he would have, as he’s doing now.

“That’s a big deal.” Jaehyun whispers.

“Don’t think it is,” Johnny says back, too fast to be casual. He waits a few beats of silence before speaking again, “I’m not going to see her again.”

“Why?” There’s a lot of reasons, and Johnny isn’t letting out enough for him to guess what it is.

“She’s not fun, I don’t want anything serious, it was impulse, I drank too much bloody mary and the light at the restaurant was also red, so I caught myself thinking ‘isn’t this what I am supposed to do? Kiss a pretty girl on a Friday night?’, it felt so right one second before we were kissing.”

Jaehyun doesn’t think Johnny is thinking through what he’s saying, it sound too carnal for him to be. “Do you regret kissing her?” Maybe that’s the question he doesn’t want to answer.

“I don’t know, I’m so confused.” Johnny sounds so tired, and he buries himself deeper in Jaehyun’s bed. “I feel so lost.”

Jaehyun searches for Johnny’s hands under his blankets, when he finds it he interlaces theirs fingers together, squeezing it.

“It’s not about Ten.” Johnny says, “I mean, it is, but- do you know why we broke up?”

“You know i don’t.” Jaehyun whispers.

Johnny never told anyone, nor did Ten, as far as he knows, and it was the first sign something was off: both of them always confided to their friends about their fights, rolling their eyes, as if it show how ridiculous they were, but how in love and stubborn they were at the same time.

“He was the one who did it,” Johnny starts, “he said it was a long time coming, and said he didn’t recognize himself without being in our relationship, that we got used to each other and stop growing, that we were in love with a past projection of our relationship and not each other.”

Jaehyun feels his chest turning into ice, but before he can speak, Johnny speaks again, “he was right, Jae.” He untangles his hand from Jaehyun’s, “I see it now, because it has been three months and a half and I'm still not used to being alone, I kissed that girl and I don’t even know how I feel about it.”

“It’s okay to have doubts.” Jaehyun urges to say.

“I know, but I miss being sure.” His tone is bitter when he starts to talk again, “the funny thing is I was never sure, I had this idea of who I was because I was in this supposed life-long relationship. I have so much to learn about myself.”

Too much time passes in silence, and Jaehyun wants to lighten the mood and Johnny’s chest, “first of all, you’re a great friend, a great person in general, for all that matters, you are just so good at making other people comfortable, you’re so nice and gentle, and funny and not mean at all, you have this magnetic field around you that just makes you the coolest person ever.”

He can feel his dimples popping out after he talks, the room is too dark, but the heat on his stomach tells him that Johnny is smiling tightly. “I want you to know yourself the way i know you, but don’t be desperate, take your time, and don’t kiss girls, or boys, if you don’t want to.”

That makes Johnny laugh, “she was a bad kisser.” He confides, “I wanted to kiss her, it just didn’t work out, I probably put too much expectation.”

“That’s okay, there’ll be other people wanting to kiss you, and one of them will be a good kisser.” Jaehyun says, with a lazy smile on his face and feeling his eyes heavy with sleep, he hears Johnny’s giggle as background noise.

Like always, he doesn’t remember exactly when he slept, but, this time, he wakes up and Johnny is still on his bed, snoring quietly on his right ear, laying on his belly, but his clothes are different, the jeans and black t-shirt he had gone out with are replaced by sweatpants and a hoodie.

Jaehyun does his best to not wake him up while he gets up from his bed. It works.

♡

Doyoung's get-together makes Jaehyun aware of two things he hadn’t been until then.

The first one is that he hadn’t gone out with all his friends since before Johnny and Ten broke up. Nowadays, he spends his weekend nights alone, or with Doyoung and Sicheng, or with Johnny.

Doyoung noticed that too, that’s why he invited everyone over to his apartment the second after his roommate told him he’d spend the weekend out for a family vacation. So, after four months, he’s finally seeing and talking with Doyoung, SIcheng, Johnny, Taeyong and Yuta at the same place, time and not over group chats, and Jaehyun realizes how much he missed this while feeling his dimples being almost permanently marked on his cheeks.

However, the second thing he realizes is that there is a person missing.

He notices this when he gets up from the place on the floor he was seated between Johnny and Yuta to go to the kitchen and grab another beer and, on the way, he passes in front of the big white armchair he had seen Ten comfortable sat in Johnny’s lap uncountable times at so many nights just like this one.

Jaehyun feels his heart knotting on his chest, and the feeling is so strange to him, he can’t help opening his mouth when he enters in the kitchen and sees Doyoung, alone and busy, trying to put way too much chips into a small bowl. “You didn’t invite Ten?” He tries to sound nonchalant, but guesses it’s impossible when he’s questioning himself on why he did that.

Doyoung seems so shocked by Jaehyun’s question he stops trying to fill the bowl to look at him. A glint passes through Doyoung's eyes before he recomposes himself enough to speak, "I did, actually,” he says, shrugging his shoulders, “he was busy and couldn’t make it.”

Immediately, Jaehyun feels his chest getting lighter, he doesn’t question it, instead, he tries to smile and nod, mirror a normality he isn’t feeling. He opens the refrigerator to look for more beer, but, when Doyoung talks again, Jaehyun feels a cold rush to his stomach so fast he feels dizzy.

“Why do you care, though?” Doyoung's voice is hard and icy, but it’s not loud, probably because he doesn’t want the others to listen. “You don’t talk to him since the breakup, he told me. I couldn’t believe it, Jaehyun, you two were close and you didn’t even text him to ask how he was doing.” His voice let out all the frustration and resignation he was feeling, “when we broke up, I know he was there for you, how could you not be there for him too? Why did you pick sides? we don’t do that, you know that.”

Doyoung is close, and he seems like a giant, Jaehyun can’t do anything but stare into his eyes. He tries to breathe before talking. “I didn’t pick sides, Doyoung, I-”

“What is happening between you and Johnny?”

The question is like a slap on Jaehyun’s cheek, he feels his whole head burning, and it seems like Doyoung is also surprised with himself, because his eyes are not so sharp anymore, they look like they are pleading for something.

“Nothing,” Jaehyun whispers, and he gulps before talking again, “I swear. I’m his best friend, I’m helping him through the breakup-”

“Stop lying!” Doyoung sounds almost desperate, his eyes demanding things Jaehyun is not even certain he can give. “It’s okay if you like johnny, you don’t have to keep it a secret, we will deal with it, everything will be alright.”

“No!” the burning on his head is getting worse, Jaehyun is sure not only his ears, but his cheeks are a bright shade of pink. Before he can even start organize his thoughts, Doyoung is talking again, “just tell me the truth, Jaehyun, so I can help yo-”

Jaehyun senses the guilt he was feeling before being transformed into frustration, the condescending way Doyoung is speaking to him makes his blood boil. “Mind your own fucking business!” He says, the other boy shuts up immediately and looks at Jaehyun as if he had grown a second head, “stop accusing me of stuff you don’t know anything about.”

It doesn’t take even two seconds to Doyoung recover and speak again, his voice is almost like poison, letting all the anger he’s feeling transpire, but Jaehyun is angry too, so he doesn’t tremble as much as he would at any other time. “I'm fucking trying to help you and be your friend, you make it so hard, you don’t let anyone know what’s going on in your head, I thought it was because you didn’t even know it yourself, but maybe your head is actually too far up in your ass!”

Jaehyun is taking a breath to respond when he is interrupted. A part of him is glad, because, even though he had no idea of what he was about to say, he knows it was bad, he’s too mad at Doyoung to have any kind filter. He also notices that there are tears on his cheeks, but Jaehyun is not sure what emotion exactly caused them.

“What’s going on here?” Jaehyun closes his eyes and sighs. He could recognize Taeyong’s sharp and cold voice as if it was second nature, because, for the longest time, it was all he would listen when the boy talked to him.

Jaehyun turns to the older boy, and immediately feels his stomach drop when their eyes meet, reencountering an expression on the pair of eyes he thought he would never have to endure again.

It is the same one he had stared at last year, when he opened his eyes, mid-kiss, to see who had entered the tiny, old closet of the frat house the party was happening, disturbing the make out session he and Doyoung were having, letting the light and the noises of the party they wanted to escape in. Eyes filled with a thick layer of anger and confusion, making thousand promises and holding too many secrets.

Taeyong is looking at him like that again, and jaehyun is sure he only sees him as the guy who’s fighting with his boyfriend; the sharpness in his eyes and lips leave no room for doubt, he’s the enemy.

Jaehyun leaves Doyoung's apartment without answering, losing his strength after recognizing the set-up of the three of them tense and defensive, with tight jaws and shoulders, too much, even though this time being so different.

♡

“So, you really aren’t going to tell me why you and Doyoung are not talking.” Johnny states, looking at Jaehyun with a half-smile, he forces himself to not rolls his eyes when johnny raises one of his eyebrows while he takes a sip of his beer. He looks around the bar to gain time, trying to escape the intense gaze being directed at him.

It’s been two weeks since the fight, and neither Doyoung nor Jaehyun took any steps to make emends; and, besides Sicheng, who was deeply affected by their disagreement, having to rearrange the time he used to spend with both of them together in two, none of their friends tried to help them fix the situation as well. Jaehyun wonders if it’s because of the history him and Doyoung have.

“But you do know you can, right?” Johnny speaks again, making Jaehyun focus on him once again. There isn’t any trace of humour left on his face, his expression is sharp and serious, but his eyes are so warm it almost makes Jaehyun blush.

“Trust me, I mean, you can tell me what happened, or anything at all, for that matter.” He continues, shrugging his shoulders, “I won’t judge, I’m serious, for example, if you told me you murdered somebody, I’d say it was a very reasonable decision.”

Jaehyun can’t help but laugh, he brings his bottle of beer to his mouth, drinking the liquid, hoping it would make his ears less red, “I'm glad to hear that, it may come in handy someday,” he jokes, but when he looks at Johnny, the boy doesn’t have more than a tiny smile on the left side of his lips and his eyes aren’t any less heavy.

Jaehyun sighs before continuing, “I do trust you, it’s just complicated.”

He feels embarrassed and unsettled, even the thought of telling Johnny that the fight was about his ex-boyfriend and him and the supposedly feelings Doyoung thinks he has for him is enough to make his stomach curl on itself and his cheeks light up in a red coloring.

Johnny doesn’t say anything back, just smiles and nods, before flipping through the menu placed in front of him, reading it closely. Jaehyun feels an urge inside of him, he, almost desperately, doesn’t want Johnny to think he doesn’t trust him, so he feels himself opening his mouth, but before he can speak, Johnny slides his right hand across the table and intertwines their fingers, “it’s okay.” He assures, looking at him, and before Jaehyun can do anything else but feel all the tension evaporating out of his body, he’s talking again, “how do you feel about tequila?”

Jaehyun feels a big smile invade his face, and looks around the bar once again. He can hear the light buzz of “Now & Forever” by Drake being overlapped by the sounds of laughter and conversations of the other people in the bar.

Suddenly, the whole night feels so right. Him and Johnny in a shitty bar with shitty drinks on saturday night fills Jaehyun up with such an amazing feeling he wants to smile forever. He’s sure his dimples are on full display when he talks, “I think it is just right.”

Jaehyun recognizes that they got too carried away with the margaritas, and it comes from a place of true self-knowledge and self-criticism.

It has nothing to do at all with how long he is taking to open their door, or the way Johnny had tried it before him for five minutes and then gave up, suggesting that they should go to Yuta’s place to sleep on his bed, he was sure Yuta wouldn’t mind.

“How could we have known?” Johnny exclaims, loudly laughing. Even with the poor lighting of the hallway jaehyun notices how red his cheeks, lips and bottom of his nose are, he feels chills inside his stomach at that. “We found the best margarita in town in that trashy bar, Jaehyun, can you believe it?”

“The best secrets are really well hidden,” Jaehyun responds and cringes right after, it sounded very poetic inside his very intoxicated mind. At least, his embarrassment sobers him up enough for him to open the door.

“Is there anything you can’t do, Jaehyun?” Johnny breathily comments, too focused in taking his shoes off to look at Jaehyun. “You’re just so smart, and nice, and good at everything.” He continues saying, but he’s not even acknowledging the other boy. Instead, he goes inside the apartment without checking if Jaehyun is following him or not.

Jaehyun only finds relief on his chest at that, because he’s sure Johnny would be able to see how red his face is even under the horrible shadowy-yellow light coming from the hallway behind their closed door. His shame only increases when he reminds himself he is getting flustered by his drunk best friend complimenting him.

In hope of getting his face back to an acceptable and unsuspicious shade, Jaehyun tries to gain time by walking into the kitchen and filling two of Johnny’s mugs from his collection with water. The cold liquid helps with the heat on his face, Jaehyun feeling refreshed after the first sip.

When Jaehyun enters their room, he realizes Johnny is waiting for him, as much as him splayed out on Jaehyun’s bed with barely open eyes can be considered waiting. “I brought water for you, to help with the future hangover.” He says, putting the mug on the bedside table before he sits on the tiny space of the bed Johnny hasn’t occupied.

“Argh,” Johnny grunts, as he sits and stretches to grab the mug, frowning until there are marks of dissatisfaction between his eyebrows, “don’t even remind me, tequila’s hangovers are the worst, we should kill each other just so we don’t have to go through it tomorrow.”

Jaehyun lets out a laugh, laying down on the bed and he feels his back thank him for it, relief traveling around his body as he closes his eyes, he almost tingles with pleasure.

He only realizes he didn’t say anything back when he senses the room going dark behind his eyes, the lamp on the table being turned off by Johnny, who, moments later tries to make himself comfortable besides jaehyun under the sheets of the bed.

Jaehyun briefly wonders how cozy can really get two tall men sharing a tiny bed with their pants still on, but soon forces himself to shuts it out, because he can already see where his trail of thought ends, and he really doesn’t want to overthink about why Johnny chooses to sleep with him most nights when he has a perfectly fine bed few steps away. Jaehyun definitely doesn’t want to do that drunk, or even sober.

“Jaehyun,” Johnny whispers, interrupting Jaehyun’s internal rumbling, which the boy is glad for, “can I ask you something?”

Jaehyun thinks Johnny can do anything he sets his mind to, but he’s not drunk enough to say it out loud, “yeah.”

“it’s about your fight with Doyoung.” When he looks at Johnny, he sees him staring deeply at his face, Jaehyun wonders if he realizes he’s doing it, “it’s okay.”

It takes some time to Johnny to talk again, so long that for a moment Jaehyun wonders if he has forgotten what he supposed to ask; but when he speaks, his voice is low and Jaehyun can’t name the emotion that shakes it, even though he can hear it clearly.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, you can just tell me to shut up and we’ll be good,” he pauses before continuing, “was it because of you three again? Like, you know, last year?”

Jaehyun tenses, but he doesn’t have to think twice to answer truthfully, “no.” He wonders if Johnny can feel the heat that radiates from his cheeks and ears, “me and Doyoung can fight about a lot things, we have a vast repertory.” Johnny doesn’t recognizes his attempt of wicked humour.

“Okay.” He can tell Johnny is trying to organize his thoughts. “I know it must be hard for you to see them together.“

“It’s really not,” that’s another thing Jaehyun doesn’t need to think twice to know is true. “I mean it, there are things that can be harder.”

He can tell that that throws Johnny off his feet, because he doesn’t say anything else for the rest of the night, even though Jaehyun can sense him thinking next to him until he drifts off in a deep sleep, his soft snoring louder than usual.

Jaehyun wonders if Johnny doesn’t understand because he’s too drunk or if it is because he can’t relate to it, and he urges for the first one.

**Author's Note:**

> this will have three parts and around 16k i think, i was planning to post it as an one-shot but i decided against it bc i really want to know what you guys think about the characters and the path this is taking!
> 
> pls comment !!! i really wanna talk lol 
> 
> and
> 
> english its not my first language so you know.... Take it easy 
> 
> <3


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